I know I know. "What the fuck. Another post where he whines about his miserable life?" Sorry, but I thought I'd kinda give an update on me since it felt good the last time I did it. So apologies. You'll get your caps soon enough. I promise.
Good news is that I've started seeing a therapist. Which has been awesome. Getting to talk about this kinda stuff is really good and I'm realizing that holding it in for as long as I did was only hurting me more. So that's a plus. Negative side and it's a pretty bad one that I'm not proud of. Last night I had another bad attack. I don't know what brought it on but my mind was back in the bad place and I didn't know what to do.
Luckily and obviously. Nothing happened. But I did spend half the night laying in my apartment hallway. Not feeling great but I'm still here. Of course the angel was there first thing in the morning to talk me back to earth and that's where I am right now. Like I said in the post a few days ago, I have a lot of work to do and I'm going to stumble along the way but hopefully I have the right people around me to help me get there. (She hates when I talk about her here. So let's just shhhhhhhhh. Okay? Between you and me dear reader.)
I'm working on it. On my health and more content for this blog but we all know what comes first.
Oh! Biiiiig thanks to a longtime reader that decided to send me an e-mail saying that he wished I killed myself. Thanks for giving me another reason to keep going, so I can spit in your face.
(I swear I'm not a petty man.)
<3
don't listen to the person who said that there just a hater and a jerk. don't let them get to you.
ReplyDeleteThere's some evil people in this world to wish others dead. Keep going and stay strong.
ReplyDeleteAnyone who wishes harm on someone with any kind of mental health issues needs to be taken into a dark room and beaten and never let out, Don't listen to them for every one person in the world who's like that there are 1000 people only wishing you the best.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that somebody said that to you. That's honestly so awful, but just know your fanbase will stay strong! I'm still super excited to see you post stuff, and can't wait to see what you do in the future. Though, you also don't owe anyone anything.
ReplyDeleteI hope all goes well for you, and hopefully things just keep getting better from here. <3
I know I've said it before, yet I'll say it again. Here for you. I for one understand a lot of it. Keep the faith.
ReplyDeleteI've worked in a mental health clinic for twelve years, and I'm really proud of you for going to a therapist and being open about it here on your blog. You'll probably reach someone far less open about their troubles than you, and they'll know that it's OK to talk about mental health with someone. It's absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of, so good on you for taking the first step on what (I'm not going to lie) will be a long journey. Stay healthy, stick with what you're doing, never give up on yourself or those around you. It's worth it, I promise! You might even be surprised of how many casual acquaintances willing to support you! I've personally been down the dark hole myself, so I feel it makes me qualified to make that promise.
ReplyDeleteI love you all. Seriously. I’m blown away by the support!
ReplyDeleteI have had a pretty great day today talking with the girl that saved my life. Making caps for her and just talking with her in my spare time has really cleared my mind. (One day she’ll let me reveal who she is and then I’ll tell everyone to send HER love. Because she deserves it and so much more)
Pls look good to yourself you have a great community and are still a great people we all love you and your work. You give us all a smile and we all hope that you can smile again to soon in lovely words your Marco ^^
ReplyDeleteAnd by the way i know how you felling if you ever need to talk or just someone to listen im ever free for you
ReplyDeleteGosh if i would be entchantres i would just poof your problems away and make you happy again^^
SUPER awesome that you're in therapy. The best thing you can do is be honest with others and yourself. Its hard AF to face those demons, theyre nasty, but its so worth it, and you dont have to do it alone, sounds like youve got good people in your life. And that email sender can fuck right off, very obviously a pathetic, self-hating cretin, themselves.
ReplyDeleteCeleb, I didn't know you were struggling like this. I don't know what to say except I hope you get better. It sounds like you're getting help and that's really important.
ReplyDeleteCheers
Zapper